Even if you have always been able to converse openly and honestly with your partner about almost anything, discussing sex after menopause can bring special challenges. Your body is undergoing many reproductive and hormonal changes that can leave you feeling frustrated, uncomfortable or less confident about your sexuality. It’s all too easy to keep these feelings to yourself, but that can create problems in your relationship with the person you love most.
So can the myth that women are no longer sexually appealing, or interested in sex, after menopause. Things may be changing, but you are still most definitely a woman!
This Is No Time to Stop Talking
Your partner needs to understand the changes you are going through. If you don’t discuss this extremely personal topic, chances are good you will end up pulling away, avoiding intimate encounters. What is your partner to think? Closing yourself off because you’re embarrassed or can’t find the right words will further erode your self-confidence and possibly even make you feel guilty. That’s a downward spiral no one wants, and it is avoidable.
Tips to Get the Conversation Started
- Tell your partner that you’re uncomfortable talking about menopause and sex, but you want to do it anyway because this issue is so important to your future. They may be uncomfortable, too, so they will understand.
- Aim for short conversations rather than a marathon session. This will feel less onerous and allow you to make incremental progress, talking about something specific each time. Besides, the more you talk, the easier it will get. Really. And talking through difficult subjects will bring you closer.
What to Talk About
Talk about sexual intimacy in general. This is good advice regardless of your age. Are you making time in your busy life to focus on intimacy, or is it taking a back seat to other activities? For women, especially after menopause, intimacy is about more than sex. It includes touching, cuddling, kissing, conversation, emotional and even spiritual closeness. Romance never gets old. Nor does doing things together that you both love, whether that’s cooking, hiking or going to the opera.
Talk about what pleases each of you sexually. And talk about what you don’t like, too. Even couples in long relationships don’t always open up about this, but it is fundamental to getting the most from your sexual relationship. Along the same line, if sex has become routine, talk about ways you might change things up to rekindle the joys of intimacy.
This is especially important when menopause enters the picture, because menopause brings physical changes. Vaginal dryness, painful intercourse, etc. can certainly affect your approach to sex as well as your desire. Consider options such as lubricants or sensual massage that can ease the way.
Talk to Your Doctor, Too
Sound medical advice is essential to help you smooth navigate menopause and beyond. Your doctor can determine if the symptoms you’re experiencing are typical post-menopausal changes or if there is some other medical issue that require treatment.
And speaking of treatment, you and your partner don’t have to suffer the consequences of menopause unnecessarily. Mona Lisa Touch laser vaginal treatment can restore vaginal hydration, tissue structure and overall health to alleviate frustrating, painful symptoms and the physical and emotional toll they take on your relationship. MonaLisa Touch is a safe, painless treatment that requires just three 5-minute sessions to produce dramatic, long-lasting improvement of all typical post-menopausal vaginal symptoms. Instead of shying away from intimacy, you can continue to strengthen your relationship and enjoy it to the fullest.